So I'm super excited my friend Kate that I haven't seen in like five years is coming to visit at the end of this month. It's really weird cause I think about how different my life was when I met her. I was growing so much as a person then. I had so many goals and dreams. At the time, I thought I had time to just fuck around though. I messed around but at least I worked hard and played even harder. We had such a strong base of friends, we felt invincible together.
There is one birthday of hers I will never forget. My friend "V" was in town visiting. There was a bunch of us at the bar and the drinks kept coming. It was really weird though because all of the girls were just drawn to each other for some reason. It was like the invisible power of lesbianism had taken over the bar. Most of the girls had their boyfriends or husbands there but it didn't matter. So we're all hanging out and having the time of our lives when one of the girls had to use the bathroom. Suddenly, the imaginary leash pulled me into the bathroom with all ten girls in a one room bathroom. I don't know what the hell they put in those drinks but I don't even think I can describe what happened in there (I'm now imagining someone else in the bathroom watching and can only laugh hysterically).
It makes me sad to think I'm getting older and I haven't reached the goals that I thought I would. I still haven't finished my college degree. I still at the age of twenty eight have no fucking clue about what I want to do in life. I just don't even know if I will ever make up my mind. That's what is so frustrating about my brain and my life, I'm never able to make that final decision when it's a big one. I just put things off and off until one day I wake up and I'm like...well shit...I'm still in the same place I was and then it gets depressing. Luckily, I have people around me to pull me out of my stupid self pity and I'm able to make small steps back to the goal process. One day at a time is the approach I have to take for now.
