Do we all have to follow the pattern of life?

My friend just found out she was pregnant and now suddenly she is having a shotgun wedding. Have we really not come that far in society to automatically get married because of a pregnancy? I'm not saying they are not happy, but why the pressure to get married immediately? Will there be more of a chance to work it out for legal purposes? What is more detrimental to a child, having to split up their lives if things don't work out or knowing that they're parents weren't married immediately after they were conceived? I understand that people say for religious purposes but we won't even go there because there is way too much to say there.



I know someone else who is married, has a kid, a stable job and doesn't at all seem happy about any of it! She loves her kid, but maybe she didn't want to follow the "blueprint" of life. You know, the graduate, go to college, meet a nice boy, get married, get a "real" job and have kids. Why not graduate, figure out who you are, explore the world a little and then decide what the next step is. What's so fun about a life that is preplanned? What about her life? Is she now supposed to just deal with what she has and be unhappy forever? When can she let out what she has been pushing down her whole life? Never?

I guess I'm glad I'm different. I did graduate. I did go to college. I met a girl instead of a boy. I met a few more girls. I did date a few guys. I explored who I was and I'm not done yet. It's not even legal for me to marry my girlfriend and I really can't really worry right now about getting pregnant. : )

Why do people hide what they are truly feeling? Social pressure? Family? Why does everything have to be so "perfect" even though we all know it doesn't exist?

Why am I too scared?

Why is it that I crave to be so different, yet I am too scared to just change? Am I too scared to change? Am I really that big of a wuss? I think about it all the time. I can't sleep because my mind races all night thinking about the things I want to change. I want to change my job. I want to volunteer more. I want to write a book. I want to read more. I want to spend more time with my family. What do I really want? I want a career. I want to make up my mind about something, anything at this point. It's hard for me to even not argue in my head about what I want for lunch. Am I going insane? Am I working too much? Who has time to decipher all of this? Maybe I should just get some ADD medicine and figure it out. Who knows though, I probably won't be able to decide which doctor I would like to consult. I'm a hot mess? Anyone out there to help me?

So I think I want to be heard

So I think I want to start writing a novel or screenplay or just something that will just get read by other people. I have this site as kind of my own thoughts to myself, so I don't really mind that no one is really listening or reading out there. I do however, want to be heard by someone saying something. I think I've had an interesting life. If not interesting, maybe different than most.

I've just done some research on how to even begin to write a novel and screenplay. I think actually that in addition to this blog, I will write another solely on the adventures of how this novel or jumble of words came about.

It's disappointing to know that all the journals that I've written in and all the thoughts I had the courage to write down, don't document all the fun and great times I've had in life. Most of my journals are filled with sadness, confusion, hurtfulness and just downright depressing (makes you want to jump off a bridge) type of shit. Why is that? When you are happy, you should want to document every little thing that made you that way. You should not want to document the time your girlfriend broke your heart into a million pieces and made the whole world go cold.
Something to ponder. From now on, I vow to write down things that make me happy too.

Old Times

So I'm super excited my friend Kate that I haven't seen in like five years is coming to visit at the end of this month. It's really weird cause I think about how different my life was when I met her. I was growing so much as a person then. I had so many goals and dreams. At the time, I thought I had time to just fuck around though. I messed around but at least I worked hard and played even harder. We had such a strong base of friends, we felt invincible together.

There is one birthday of hers I will never forget. My friend "V" was in town visiting. There was a bunch of us at the bar and the drinks kept coming. It was really weird though because all of the girls were just drawn to each other for some reason. It was like the invisible power of lesbianism had taken over the bar. Most of the girls had their boyfriends or husbands there but it didn't matter. So we're all hanging out and having the time of our lives when one of the girls had to use the bathroom. Suddenly, the imaginary leash pulled me into the bathroom with all ten girls in a one room bathroom. I don't know what the hell they put in those drinks but I don't even think I can describe what happened in there (I'm now imagining someone else in the bathroom watching and can only laugh hysterically).

It makes me sad to think I'm getting older and I haven't reached the goals that I thought I would. I still haven't finished my college degree. I still at the age of twenty eight have no fucking clue about what I want to do in life. I just don't even know if I will ever make up my mind. That's what is so frustrating about my brain and my life, I'm never able to make that final decision when it's a big one. I just put things off and off until one day I wake up and I'm like...well shit...I'm still in the same place I was and then it gets depressing. Luckily, I have people around me to pull me out of my stupid self pity and I'm able to make small steps back to the goal process. One day at a time is the approach I have to take for now.

Argument: To drink or not to drink

So a few of my friends have recently been unfortunate to be detained for drinking under the influence. For most of us social drinkers, we have all had a few too many and driven home. For the most part, when I was younger, I didn't know anyone who had a DUI. Now as I'm lurking toward thirty, it seems as though I have a sign on my forehead every time I have a drink or two and drive. Why is that? Is this my conscious coming out from the wood work at thirty?

My friend now has one of those breathalyzer thingies in his car that doesn't let him drive when he has had alcohol. I guess it's smart enough to know how hard you usually blow and when you don't blow as hard it yells "BLOW HARDER, HUM LOUDER." WHOA! PERVERTED MACHINE! I guess the law does allow for some blowing here and there. We thought it would be funny if we wrote this in shoe polish all over his car, that way everyone else knew what his car was yelling. I told him that first dates would be harder now since he can't have a drink to calm down and he'll have to show the girl how well he "blows" right from the start.

Yesterday's Feelings

A long time ago I decided my life as a regular early twenty something year old wasn't enough. I decided that my life had to be something more than it was or ever was going to be being a "normal" person in society. I hated the fact that my head wouldn't shut up and I started drinking and partying to lessen the noise. I can't say that I regret everything but it definitely made me even more behind in my plans from the start. I am always in an argument with myself over everything. Should I be in my relationship? Should I quit my job because I know I can do something else? Should I be a recluse and keep to myself so that I can accomplish my educational goals? I try a lot to convince myself that my life experiences are more education than a degree, that my friends are more important what job I work and that my relationships are the reasons I know what I know about love. I can't say that I regret any of my decisions, but always wonder if I made the right ones. I wouldn't trade my friends for the world but at the same time I would give anything to experience even more in the world of careers and ambitions I set for myself. Why do I think it's too late? I don't know. It's another argument. Can I afford to waste another year of life trying "things" to make my life feel better to myself. At times I think that I am a huge weirdo and no one else thinks about these things, but I know that some of you out there go through some of the same arguments in your head.

Introduction

Hello! Welcome to Arguably Life Changing moments. This is a blog that provides some funny stories and some of the serious ones. I also would love to hear some of yours out there and also offer a little advice if needed.