Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yesterday's Feelings


A long time ago I decided my life as a regular early twenty something year old wasn't enough. I decided that my life had to be something more than it was or ever was going to be being a "normal" person in society. I hated the fact that my head wouldn't shut up and I started drinking and partying to lessen the noise. I can't say that I regret everything but it definitely made me even more behind in my plans from the start. I am always in an argument with myself over everything. Should I be in my relationship? Should I quit my job because I know I can do something else? Should I be a recluse and keep to myself so that I can accomplish my educational goals? I try a lot to convince myself that my life experiences are more education than a degree, that my friends are more important what job I work and that my relationships are the reasons I know what I know about love. I can't say that I regret any of my decisions, but always wonder if I made the right ones. I wouldn't trade my friends for the world but at the same time I would give anything to experience even more in the world of careers and ambitions I set for myself. Why do I think it's too late? I don't know. It's another argument. Can I afford to waste another year of life trying "things" to make my life feel better to myself. At times I think that I am a huge weirdo and no one else thinks about these things, but I know that some of you out there go through some of the same arguments in your head.

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